It’s humorous to me that I am a communications major. (It’s even funnier that some consider it such an easy major). For human beings, communication in the root from which all else flows – business, law, writing, medicine, home life, church, etc. And most people are completely inapt to effectively communicate at all. After realizing this and working to fight bad communication habits, it comes natural for me in most situations. But when it comes to relationships, I couldn’t be more tongue-tied!
Communicating in a relationship begins with honesty. It’s not just bonding by sharing rituals, secret telling, or finding similarities, it’s fitting the puzzle of two personalities together. It’s finding where they fit, where they don’t, and learning to work with what you’ve got. Being honest enough to share the reality of who you are, both strengths and weaknesses, now thats the hard part! The layers of protective defenses that we build throughout our lives are so intricate and elaborate that it takes tons of effort to strip our facade and reveal honest communication. It pushes us past our comfort zones, into areas that may be painful, serious, and sensitive. But in most cases, communication takes the relationship a step towards more intimate conversations and deeper understanding. That is in fact what a relationship is, by my standards at least.
The mind is such as strange organ. It is the place from which everything about us emanates, thoughts and feelings, fear and confidence, faith and doubt. Our emotions filter through it, finding an acceptable response, and sending out only mere words to relay the complexities of who we are, what we think, and where we are coming from. No one person can access another’s mind. Which means…we must communicate. Communication is quickly complicated by our human nature. There are times when what we say isn’t always what we mean, when we send mixed messages, or when we say something just because it makes things easier. No matter how hard it is, or how misunderstood we feel, it is our own responsibility to keep fighting for clarity. In the end, we teach people how to treat us – meaning the responsibility to communicate lies not on the shoulders of others, but on ourselves.
“So give her information to help her fill the holes. Give an ounce of power so He does not feel controlled. Help her to acknowledge the pain that you are in. Give to him a glimpse of that beneath your skin.” – “Sweet Potato” by Sia
