I Crave Simplicity

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I hate those times when it seems like I’m the last to know things. Lately, while I’ve begun to live out my new lable as the “poor pathetic totally unaware girl”, I feel lost in my own skin more than anything. Lost and confused.

At the beginning of this school year, I was dealing with tying up the final strings of a relationship than ended a few months earlier. The summer had left me quite ready to try a friendship with this guy who I genuinely cared about and couldn’t help but admire, but whose life dreams left me out of the picture. I was more than okay with that and was sure that we would both be able to still enjoy being in each others company. So school began and all my attempts to talk or hang out were shut down, my hopes were crushed and I realized that being turned down for friendship was worse than being broken up with. Soon after, facebook announced to me on our glorious news feed that he had a girlfriend. It was a shock and then an explanation to why I had failed so miserably in all my efforts. People knew, no one told me. Thanks Facebook.

I also became friends with a guy and a girl about 2 weeks ago. They are both exceptionally remarakable and unique people. I was friends with both of them separately, but little did I know, they were actually friends from home. There was a past between them, more complex than I cared to press into and quite frankly, none of my business. Our 3 friendships formed this little triangle: She liked him, he liked me, I liked him, she was fast becoming one of the most important people in my life, and she was also one of his closest friends! It wasn’t worth putting those friendships in any sort of jeapordy. I’m not crushed and I’m okay with us all being friends! The thing is……I didn’t know any of this until well after my friendships with both of them had begun. I was the outsider on a 3-sided triangle and they had neglected to fill me in. I pieced it together myself.

It happens in class, it happens with friends, it happens a lot and I’m trying to figure out if this is normal. It can’t be! Right? So do I fall into the category of tell on a need-to-know basis only in my own life? I feel disheartened and I crave simplicity.

“Honesty lives confident and carefree, but Shifty is sure to be exposed.” - Proverbs 10:9

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